Here’s How to Get Abducted by Aliens

Since the early 2000s, March 20th has been celebrated as Alien Abduction Day. And while you may have missed the holiday this year, you may still have an opportunity to get abducted. According to a new study, Vermont has the highest UFO sighting rate per capita and therefore is likely your best chances of getting probed.. Washington and Montana follow suit, while Alaska and Maine round out the top five.

One of the Vermont’s first recorded sightings occurred in 1961 above East Mountain, in which personnel at North Concord Air Force Station reported a strange object that remained stationary in the sky for 18 minutes. Some believe this was related to the Barney and Betty Hill purported alien abduction that took place in New Hampshire on the same evening, according to those who believe in such nonsense.

Conversely, if unlike Jon, you’re hoping to avoid an alien abduction, you may want to visit Texas. Apparently, not even aliens are willing to mess with the residents of that state.

The study uses data obtained by the National UFO Reporting Center, data which—in addition to the Lone Star state—lists Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Maryland with lower UFO sightings per capita.

As part of the celebration, eek, Hard MTN DEW hosted a 24/7 livestream where it attempted to convince aliens to abduct a stockpile of their alcoholic soda.

Built in a remote area of the Arizona desert, the alien abduction site is near the home of one of the most witnessed and documented mass UFO sightings in modern history: The Phoenix Lights in 1997

Specifically designed for easy UFO landing, the site—which is reportedly big enough to be seen from outer space—features UFO landing lights, custom alien-inspired graphics and an easy-to-follow bullseye pointing to our offering: 100 HARD MTN DEW BAJA BLAST Mix Packs.

Wikipedia reports that an astronaut on the ISS with 20/20 vision could potentially detect objects that are 367 feet or greater in all dimensions. So, for a structure visible from space it would need to be about the size of a football field cubed. It’s unlikely Mountain Dew’s landing pad is that sizable.

Regardless, it’s unlikely that the beverages will be taken at all. Aliens appear to be fairly discerning in their targets.  According to a 2012 Yahoo News article, there are 6 types of people aliens prefer to abduct.


      1. Sufferers of sleep paralysis. The University of California, San Francisco, published a report showing that sleep paralysis is experienced by about 30 percent of Americans. Of these, 5 percent report sleep paralysis experiences coupled with “visual, tactile, and auditory hallucinations.” These hallucinations occasionally morph into alien entities.

      1. Buck Rogers fans. Cornell points to the perhaps most famous alien abduction occurring in September 1961. Betty and Barney Hill underwent hypnosis and revealed they were subjected to reproductive experimentation while aboard a spaceship. Interestingly, their recollections were eerily similar to “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century,” a 1930s comic adventure. Plenty of subsequent abduction stories are comparable to the Hill experience, which may point to a host of unwitting Buck Rogers fans.


        • The socially inept. Researchers publishing in the Harvard University Gazette offer the possibility that false memories are to blame for some of the alien abduction accounts. Shared traits included in a group recalling alien abduction experiences incorporate “fantasy proneness, paranormal interests and experiences, and inability to relate socially to others.”


          • The culturally contaminated. PBS reports that Carl Sagan, when asked about the similarity of alien abduction accounts, pointed to a contamination with pop culture as a likely culprit. He believed in the creation of an alien abduction paradigm shaped by individual stories, movies, TV shows, books and Internet postings.


            • Those unapologetically human. Folklore is filled with stories of the nightmare spirit known as the Old Hag. Associated with the human state between actual sleep and wakefulness, she’s been described as a nocturnal attacker who paralyzed human victims by sitting on their chests. Likely to be an early tale of sleep paralysis with accompanying hallucinations, the publication suggests that the hag is being replaced by the gray aliens in contemporary folklore.


              • Eccentrics. The BBC describes Kirsan Ilyumzhinov as an eccentric millionaire, the president of the World Chess Federation and leader of a Buddhist region in Russia. He claimed to have been abducted by aliens wanting to prove their existence.

            It’s interesting to note that abductors have steered clear of the types of people who could put an end to discussions on the phenomenon once and for all: the credible.

   Here’s Where You’re Most Likely to Get Abducted

            Yahoo: Hard Mtn Dew Aims to Get Abducted


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